Read Matthew 19:1-12 and Mark 10:1-12. Jesus is on His way back to Jerusalem. On the way, the Pharisees question Him, trying to get Him to say something that will get Him in trouble with the Roman authorities, or give them grounds to bring an accusation of heresy against Him, or make Him unpopular with the crowds. This time they ask Him about divorce. In that day and culture, there was much debate about what grounds there could be for divorce. Some said it was limited to a few things; others stated it could be for almost anything. The popular opinion was divorce was allowed for nearly any reason. In answering this question, Jesus was going against popular opinion, much like the opinion of our culture today.
1. What was the question the Pharisees asked?
Was it permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?
2. To what scriptures did Jesus refer in His answer?
Genesis 1:27 and 2:24.
3. What was Jesus’ answer in verse 6 of Matthew 19 to the Pharisee’s question? What implications do you see from His answer?
a. What God has joined together, let no man put apart.
b. The statement, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” raises many questions. We might view a marriage as a civil contract made by human beings. To a degree, this is indeed true, but this Scripture states that it is a union, made by God Himself. What is the nature of this union? Is it simply a physical union? Our Lord, in referencing Genesis 2:24, which states, “FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH,” seems to indicate that at the very least it involves the physical. Or does it involve a deeper union of spirit and soul? Is this the union that God brings about? If a union is so established by God, why does our Lord state that man is not to separate it? How could any human being separate what God has joined together?
4. What was Jesus’ response to the objection that Moses commanded divorce?
God allowed it through Moses due to the hardness of the human heart, but it was not designed to be that way by God.
5. What reason does Jesus allow for divorce?
Sexual immorality on the part of one partner
Read Matthew 19:13-15, Luke 18:15-17 and Mark 10:13-16. Small children and babies are being brought to Jesus by their parents for Him to bless. The disciples try to stop these people from bringing their children.
6. Why do you think the disciples were trying to stop the children from coming?
They probably thought Jesus, as Messiah, was too important to be bothered by children. After all, He was the future King of all the earth!
7. What is Jesus’ response to the disciples?
He is indignant and tells them not to forbid the children to come?
8. What do you think Jesus meant when He said the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these?
Two possible answers, both are probably valid. One, you have to be like a child, have child-like faith to enter the kingdom. Two, children, before they reach an age, whatever that may be when they can make a decision for or against God, are forgiven on the basis of the shed blood of Jesus Christ and are by the grace of God, a part, a large part, of the Kingdom.
Read Matthew 19:16-20:16, Mark 10:17-31 and Luke 18:18-30. A young man comes to Jesus and asks a question. This question was probably not intended just to be a trap but was a legitimate question that was asked by someone who sincerely wanted to know the answer.
9. What was the young man’s question?
What must I do to be saved?
10. What was our Lord’s initial reply to this man concerning how this man addressed him?
Why do you call me good; there is none good but God?
11. What did Jesus tell this young man about the commandments?
Keep them and live.
12. What did the young man ask about the commandments?
Which ones should I keep?
13. What was our Lord’s answer?
He quotes the Ten Commandments.
14. What did the young man reply to Jesus about these Ten Commandments?
I have kept them.
15. What one last thing did Jesus tell this young man he needed to do?
Sell his possessions, give the proceeds away and follow Jesus.
16. What was the man’s response to this?
He couldn’t do it because he was very rich.
17. Do you think this parable teaches that if you keep the commands and give all your possessions away, you can work your way into heaven? Why or why not?
a. No.
b. Jesus was showing this man he couldn’t do enough to earn his way there. He found the one thing this man could not do. There is always something we cannot do that would keep us out.
18. Summarize the parable in Matthew 20:1-16.
A man hired laborers at several different times during the day. Some worked all day, others only one hour, but they were all paid the same. Those that worked the hardest complained, but the contractor said it was his right to pay what he wanted if he met what was agreed upon.
19. What is the point of this parable?
Jesus is teaching that entrance into the kingdom does not depend upon how hard you work but only on the grace of God.
The Applications:
What are the applications of these passages to our lives today? Identify as many as you are able.
1. Initially, it should be said is these passages in the Gospels do not comprise the whole treatment of this issue of marriage and divorce in the New Testament. This small discussion is not a complete treatment of that subject in any sense, for that would go well beyond the scope of this study of the life of our Lord.
In discussing the issue of marriage, it seems clear that, at the very least, that we do not have a very clear picture of what God intended marriage to be. We do not see, nor can we at this point, what the relationship of a man and wife would have been had our original parents not sinned. In the fall, we lost much, much more than we can know. How can a person blind from birth truly mentally visualize what it would be to have sight, even with those who can see describing it to them? How can a person deaf from birth truly have a sense of what it must be to hear, even with the testimony of those with hearing? And we have very little testimony at all to what the perfect marriage relationship was intended apart from what God has stated.
We do know it was intended from the very beginning, from creation before the fall, to be a lasting relationship. Breaking it up was not in the plan. But the fall intervened. Now God allowed divorce, but only for a specific reason or reasons. The one given by our Lord here is infidelity on the part of one of the partners. This does not mean one must or should divorce their spouse if they are unfaithful. Indeed the whole thrust of the Scriptures seems to be to restore the relationship, to repent and to forgive. Divorce is an option when all the efforts have failed when the partner refuses to alter their behavior. It is done to protect the faithful spouse and children if any. It is not a good thing—it never is—but it may be the only option left.
The question for us is how do we handle divorce in our culture, where it is the norm instead of the exception? First, we must realize that not a single one of us lives or has lived up to the standards God sets for us. We have all sinned and made wrong decisions that have affected the rest of our lives. But we must not look back at these decisions, whatever they might have been, thinking that because of them, we are now out of the will of God. If this were true, none of us, not a single person living today, would ever be able to be in God’s will! Once confessed, He has forgiven the sins of the past. Where you are now is the will of God and where you ought to be. Go from there, trusting and obeying Him!
Have you been divorced? Continue from the point at which you now find yourself and know the past is forgiven. Are you single contemplating marriage? Be very sure this is the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Do not even consider the thought or possibility that if this doesn’t work, I can always bail out! Are you in a marriage relationship that is troubled? Do all that is within your power and ability to restore it, realizing this is the will of God for you.
2. If asked a difficult question, in which the answer might offend potential customers and/or voters, politicians and salespeople almost always avoid answering it by changing the subject or talking around the answer, seeming to answer it, speaking a lot but essentially saying nothing. Sometimes even ministers of the Word of God are guilty of this. Our Lord, when asked a question about divorce, did not hesitate to speak the truth clearly, directly and concisely, even when that truth was most likely apt to make many of His followers unhappy. This is not to say He used the truth like a club to beat down His opposition because He was always gracious in dealing with people. Yet, He did not hesitate to give an answer even when it was not popular.
There are times when others put questions to us to which we know the answers are not popular. How do we answer them? Are we political and evade giving an answer, speaking much but saying nothing? Do we handle it like a salesman and change the subject putting on our best appearance? Or do we speak the truth in love, even when that truth is unpopular?